Dear Russ,
I am a fan of the single limerick, but confess I don't like limerick
sequences -- the brevity of the form is a virtue, I think, and there's also
an air of finality about that last long line after the snappy couplet. If
you choose the limerick form, I think you have to strive to make it as
perfect as possible. Frankly, as soon as I found you'd used 'follow' as a
rhyme for 'Joe', you lost me.
I'm afraid this doesn't rise above doggerel for me -it needs to be a lot
sharper to succeed. Personally, I'd drop the limerick form and go for
quatrains, like the old ballads, which would help the narrative flow.
Kind regards,
grasshopper
----- Original Message -----
From: "The Walkers" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, January 07, 2004 12:33 PM
Subject: [THE-WORKS] Sub: Frozen
> I once had a friend named Joe,
> who'd guide tourists up mountains for dough.
> He'd stride through the land,
> ice axe held tight in his hand,
> and in his boot marks they'd follow.
>
> 'Til one fateful day in May,
> One led all the others astray.
> They marched through the snow,
> not knowing which way to go,
> while Jo still asleep under canvas roof lay.
>
> He kept up the search for a week,
> hoping to hear one of them speak,
> "You're getting quite near.
> Help us! We're here!",
> but silence shrouded that cold hearted peak.
>
> An avalanche had blocked up the route.
> On top, a hiker's ownerless boot.
> He had found them at last,
> buried snow deep in the pass,
> blanketed by winter's discarded suit.
>
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