Hi Calaya,
Thanks for that. I hadn't really thought of it that way, that by calling it
Surprise(s) you set the reader up for an expectation of something good. I
think I might use that.
I think the other point might be the old trans-Atlantic language difference.
I've never heard "white-over" used as a noun before. Here we tend to just
say "it's white-over" or whatever. Mind you, maybe that's purely a regional
thing over here. I'd be interested to know.
Thanks again for your help, though.
Regards,
Matt
-----Original Message-----
From: calaya [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
Sent: 27 February 2004 17:58
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: New sub
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Hi Matt,
re: title ideas,after first read I thought Surprise,
or Surprises. If I'd seen it posted as Surprise I
would have been* surprised because the word, for me,
usually is used to set up an expectation of something
"good." So, you might not be keen on it, but that's
what "popped" for me, and I think that might be
powerful in this context so I thought I'd share it
with you. Also, I'd recommend that you change "it" to
"a" in the line:
and we wake to it white over. Since one
hope this helps
later
calaya
**********
Snow fell in the night, as they warned it might,
and we wake to it white over. Since one
she has clung on to every breath, and slowly
this green world slips beneath its shroud.
The traffic, the town, the sounds of this life
stilled and spent. My father's crying, baffled,
from the garden below the half-open window.
Only her pain, and our terror, loud.
Later, the headline in the evening paper:
It's January, it's cold and it's snowing,
so what's all the fuss?
But still it surprises us.
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