> Hello Gary,
             I find the idea of capturing or summarising the `essence´ of a life in a series of details and snapshots an interesting one. As I was reading, though, I began to feel my interest in the various individuals presented waning. Something of a `so what?´ response began to develop and I think it was partly due to the nature of the details which are rather mundane (though I understand that they have to be) and that the account is rather extended. There were some language points I noticed, partly concerning American usage (I guess) but you might like to know how a Brit misreads them. The line `and catches Law and Order on the tube´ had me really puzzled for a while. The `tube´ means the underground railway to me and `catches´ suggests watches tv (or meets). I started to think that really he was reading a book called Law and Order, then I began to wonder whether there really are mini-tvs on the market now that people watch while travelling to and from work. But `tube´ must mean television, right? In the following stanza the expression `his co-worker ....reads nearly the same´ comes across a little awkwardly because of the word `reads´ which had appeared in the previous stanza and does again later in this stanza and on both occasions refers to reading as in a book. For me the sense was momentarily confused and the repetition was a little obtrusive. I liked the ending of the poem best.
I hope this is useful.



Best wishes,   Mike



> Lähettäjä: Gary Blankenship <[log in to unmask]>
> Päiväys: 2004/02/24 ti AM 06:09:57 GMT+02:00
> Vastaanottaja: [log in to unmask]
> Aihe: The Atheist
> 
> The Atheist
> 
> a credit card account representative
> one of 67 on the 9th floor
> of an office complex NW of the city
> a hour's commute each way
> 
> two kids -
> a girl into adolescence and angst
> a boy in cub scouts and little league
> 
> his wife
> sings in the church choir
> plays cards on Tuesday afternoon
> and reminds parents to bring game day refreshments
> 
> weekends he golfs
> and putters around house and lawn
> while the family is at Sunday School
> 
> evenings he assists the coach
> reads Watts and Will
> plans the next vacation
> finishes work from the office
> and catches Law and Order on the tube
> 
> his coworker in the next office
> reads nearly the same
> except his oldest is a boy
> says he doesn't watch tv or read heathens
> and is deacon for a neighborhood church
> 
> *
> 
> his brother believes
> but doesn't go to church
> except for weddings and funerals
> 
> his sister prays to Jesus Christ
> at Wednesday night bingo
> and Thursdays at the casino
> 
> his father has cursed God
> since his wife died of cancer
> 23 years earlier
> 
> *
> 
> he golfs with a pastor
> has fished with a father
> and traded jokes with a rabbi
> as their kids fumbled through a pre-school play
> 
> when he dies he will leave memories,
> decent enough deeds,
> and a legacy -
> grandchildren
> 
> he knows miracles
> when he sees them
> 
> GO TO http://www.mindfirerenew.com/ TO SUBMIT THE BEST NEW ZINE ON THE WEB. 
> Poets for Peace.... ¡Poemas sí, balas no! 
>