Gary,
I rather like this, with minor reservations. I like it because of its
content esp. After all there are plenty of overtly religious poems (and I
respect them) and plenty of anti-religious poems (and I respect those too)
but very few that take a balanced view, trying to get an overall picture of
how varying degrees of belief and disbelief pan out in a group of
inter-related people, as you seem to do here. So well done.
I note that the title does a lot for guiding the reader through the poem and
there is the risk of relying on it too much. It might have been nice to have
some impression of how that guy felt and perceived things (other than the
last two lines). I don't have much of a sense of who he is. Also you make
him sound uninteresting in some ways. You appear to be accentuating his
apparent ordinariness. Maybe that's your point. He fits in really well. On
the other hand interesting people can lead have hum drum lives (just as many
people have exciting lives and remain hum drum).
BW
Colin
BTW Watts and Will? I don't need to know this for the poem. I'm just
curious.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Sally Evans" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, February 24, 2004 6:43 PM
Subject: Re: The Atheist
Good ending Gary. possibly a bit long for what it's saying.
bw
SallyE
on 24/2/04 4:09 am, Gary Blankenship at [log in to unmask] wrote:
> The Atheist
>
> a credit card account representative
> one of 67 on the 9th floor
> of an office complex NW of the city
> a hour's commute each way
>
> two kids -
> a girl into adolescence and angst
> a boy in cub scouts and little league
>
> his wife
> sings in the church choir
> plays cards on Tuesday afternoon
> and reminds parents to bring game day refreshments
>
> weekends he golfs
> and putters around house and lawn
> while the family is at Sunday School
>
> evenings he assists the coach
> reads Watts and Will
> plans the next vacation
> finishes work from the office
> and catches Law and Order on the tube
>
> his coworker in the next office
> reads nearly the same
> except his oldest is a boy
> says he doesn't watch tv or read heathens
> and is deacon for a neighborhood church
>
> *
>
> his brother believes
> but doesn't go to church
> except for weddings and funerals
>
> his sister prays to Jesus Christ
> at Wednesday night bingo
> and Thursdays at the casino
>
> his father has cursed God
> since his wife died of cancer
> 23 years earlier
>
> *
>
> he golfs with a pastor
> has fished with a father
> and traded jokes with a rabbi
> as their kids fumbled through a pre-school play
>
> when he dies he will leave memories,
> decent enough deeds,
> and a legacy -
> grandchildren
>
> he knows miracles
> when he sees them
>
> GO TO http://www.mindfirerenew.com/ TO SUBMIT THE BEST NEW ZINE ON THE
WEB.
> Poets for Peace.... ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
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