> Hello again Colin,
                    Thanks for your feedback on this one and I´ll give your suggestions careful thought. Regarding the content, it is about the movement of planets in the solar system in one sense, of course, but could the sensation attributed to the child when they learn this piece of knowledge be repeated throughout life when we suddenly become aware of something and it changes the way we look at things, people, relationships.....



Best wishes,    Mike



> Lähettäjä: Colin dewar <[log in to unmask]>
> Päiväys: 2004/02/21 la PM 03:02:23 GMT+02:00
> Vastaanottaja: [log in to unmask]
> Aihe: brave world/Mike
> 
> Mike,
> 
> It's an interesting poem and I'm happy with the whole poem being a question, and have used this mode myself once or twice. The way I see it, it's the sort of question that could be asked through a desire to share an idea as you stroll down a road with one of your mates, in the confidence that a particular person would be interested. Of course the wording would be less smooth in real life. You could expect someone to come back with an answer that was tangential or failed to address the question, but might be on an allied subject that you yourself would find interesting. They might for instance say that the earth is spinning on its axis at the same time as it moves round the sun at the same time as the sun moves relative to other stars in the galaxy at the same time as  our galaxy is moving relative to other galaxies. There is of course the possibility that ideas could be the driving force behind poetry or at least some poem in the work of any particular writer, as we discussed once before. You once mentioned Edith Sodergran as a writer who was interested in doing this. However as far as I could determine those ideas followed a particular political or sexual agendum , as opposed to ideas for ideas sake, which might often contradict each other. No doubt this would be an unpopular venture , but then the whole of poetry is unpopular on a world-wide scale, and any particular sub-culture in poetry will always have to cope with being in even more of a minority. However one advantage would be that such poems wouldn't have to compromise with the many other things that popular poetry attempts. Instead they could narrow their remit just to ideas. The challenge then might be to find ideas that were both interesting and accessible, which might be harder than it seems at first.
> 
> I nearly forgot to say that in this poem you could eliminate the word "too" in both stanzas to good effect.........and in S2 I would eliminate "how" as well, instead to read "And do you remember when...."
> 
> Colin
> 
> 
> 
>