Grassy,
Lovely, vivid imagery.
just one quibble - don't like 'suctioning'
difficult to suggest a suitable alternative tho'
maybe - 'sucking at' - or - 'vacuuming' - ?
Anyway it stopped me in my tracks in a smooth read, and I had to stop myself
reading it as - 'sectioning'.
Roger
----- Original Message -----
From: "grasshopper" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, February 22, 2004 11:53 PM
Subject: New sub : Passing
Passing
The fact that I am naked makes me
shiver. The others who pass by, with
blurred faces, do not notice that
they are treading on my shed clothes
and skin. Air is winter on the crimson
of my flesh, my nerves combed
like flayed wires ready to be twisted
to the current. I am caterpillar small,
yet my frosted breath fills the room .
All who pass are suctioning my lungs.
I cannot breathe. I have to run
outside, where the night is opened,
and though I left them bending over you
like vivisectors, you walk beside me,
long stride curtailed to mine, bare neck
arched and one untubed arm pointing
outwards to the endless dust of stars.
grasshopper
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