Hi there Mike,

I like the idea of this very much, and especially like the first stanza.
However, the word 'hurtles' bothers a little, perhaps because I don't
think the earth actually goes anywhere. Consider omitting the phrase, 'as
it hurtles through black space' and it doesn't seem anything will be lost.
And I do, actually, remember laying on my back in the grass wondering what
it would be like to get hurled off the back of the world...  thought it
was just me though. Should know better because that was in the sixties. :)

I have trouble with the 2nd stanza and I'm not sure why. I think after
reading it several times, my trouble begins with the word 'when.' And then
the meaning just seems to elude me. I don't understand what 'familiar
things/knowledge is in jeopardy or why. This is probably just me though...
so take this crit with a grain of salt and toss it in the bin if it's not
helpful, as it's intended. :)

Cheerwell, Mary :O)



--- Mike Horwood <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Words between *asteriks* should be read as in italics.
>
>
> Brave New World
>
> Do *you* remember, too, that moment
> in childhood when you first heard
> that the earth we stand on is spinning
> incredibly fast as it hurtles
> through black space, and you thought
> of reaching out, to hold on to a tree
> to stop yourself being hurled off?
>
> And do you remember, *too*,
> how when you felt safe with your feet
> on the ground and looked again
> at the old, familiar things
> you had to accomplish the tightrope feat
> of creating them all anew
> while keeping your eye on this knowledge?
>
>
>
>
> Mike


=====
Good Cheer & Be Well,
     Maryann Hazen Stearns

"Under The Limbo Stick" http://www.geocities.com/Faerhart/

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