Hi there Colin, Excellent suggestions and comments, they're very much
appreciated. The poem has been revised, using some of your suggestions,
and it's definitely improved. Thanks very much! Cheerwell, Mary :O)
--- Colin dewar <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Maryann,
>
> What an interesting poem. I had that feeling in a bank recently where I
> had
> my own idea about what kind of account I wanted and they kept pointing
> me in
> other directions. On first reading of this poem I was put off by L3 of
> S4
> and L8 of S5 where unconscious and preconsciousness, subconscious and
> consciousness were mentioned. It all seemed too much of a mouthful and
> on
> top of that such terms overlap and are so hard to define, but then I
> wondered if you planned it that way because the narrator is deliberately
> eschewing them. I still think it would make it harder to read the poem
> aloud
> however, if that matters. Please see below for other possible
> amendments:
>
> Colin
>
> BTW does anyone still use Rorschach cards. I thought they were extinct.
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Maryann Hazen Stearns" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Tuesday, February 17, 2004 5:29 PM
> Subject: Interpretations
>
>
> > Interpretations
> >
> >
> > The ink blot IS a beetle.
> > The next a butterfly.
> > The third a vagina.
> > Very interesting, he says.
> > How about this one?
> > A ghost in flames.
> >
> > Images emerge on flip cards:
> > a lobster, voodoo mask,
> > an antique lamp post,
> > caterpillar on a mirror,
> > crown of a king,
> > creatures, lovers, faces, things,
> > begin to SEEM LIKE ink blots.
> > Thank you. That's enough for now.
> >
> > Myth, magic and the spread
> > of cards, dice, bones and beads.
> > Smoke of incense, the chant,
> > the rhythm, the trance, the drum.
> > The beating wings of my heart. DELETE of the
> >
> > He is a voyeur who fingers
> > the intimate relationship
> > of unconscious upon preconsciousness.
> > He yearns for the marriage
> > of the spiritual and psychological.
> >
> > His office shines like chrome
> > accented with natural elements;
> > burlap, granite, faux waterfall.
> > Muted light, deep cushions,
> > noncommittal watercolors.
> > Oil for the machination of memory;
> > ink blots that blend
> > subconscious with consciousness.
> > An overstated understanding of true self -
> > oh, what am I trying to say?
> >
> > There is a dark shadow on the floor
> > that trembles like Leviathan.
> > I close my eyes and listen.
> >
> > The little voice in my heart tells me
> > to thank him politely and leave.
> >
> > ~*~
> >
> > Cheerwell, Mary :O)
>
>
>
> ORIGINAL
>
>
> >
> Interpretations
> >
> >
> > The ink blot looks like a beetle.
> > The next a butterfly.
> > The third a vagina.
> > Very interesting, he says.
> > How about this one?
> > A ghost in flames.
> >
> > Images emerge on flip cards:
> > a lobster, voodoo mask,
> > an antique lamp post,
> > caterpillar on a mirror,
> > crown of a king,
> > creatures, lovers, faces, things,
> > begin to resemble ink blots.
> > Thank you. That's enough for now.
> >
> > Myth, magic and the spread
> > of cards, dice, bones and beads.
> > Smoke of incense, the chant,
> > the rhythm, the trance, the drum.
> > The beating of the wings of my heart.
> >
> > He is a voyeur who fingers
> > the intimate relationship
> > of unconscious upon preconsciousness.
> > He yearns for the marriage
> > of the spiritual and psychological.
> >
> > His office shines like chrome
> > accented with natural elements;
> > burlap, granite, faux waterfall.
> > Muted light, deep cushions,
> > noncommittal watercolors.
> > Oil for the machination of memory;
> > ink blots that blend
> > subconscious with consciousness.
> > An overstated understanding of true self -
> > oh, what am I trying to say?
> >
> > There is a dark shadow on the floor
> > that trembles like Leviathan.
> > I close my eyes and listen.
> >
> > The little voice in my heart tells me
> > to thank him politely and leave.
> >
> > ~*~
> >
> > Cheerwell, Mary :O)
> >
> >
> > =====
> > Good Cheer & Be Well,
> > Maryann Hazen Stearns
> >
> > "Under The Limbo Stick" http://www.geocities.com/Faerhart/
> >
> > __________________________________
> > Do you Yahoo!?
> > Yahoo! Finance: Get your refund fast by filing online.
> > http://taxes.yahoo.com/filing.html
=====
Good Cheer & Be Well,
Maryann Hazen Stearns
"Under The Limbo Stick" http://www.geocities.com/Faerhart/
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