Hi Mike,
I like this a lot. On the one hand it's nice and succinct, but on the other
it takes a moment to realise that it's just two sentences.
One or two things I wasn't sure about. "Incredibly" jars a bit, but I can't
really think of what other word you could have used. Maybe it's just me...
Also, does it need to be "black" space?
I wasn't sure, too, about the italics. I think I'm probably being a bit
dense, but I didn't immediately see what purpose they served. But I'll
re-read it and it might be a bit clearer.
Only minor quibbles though. None of them detracted from my enjoyment of the
poem to any great degree. It's a really good read.
Regards,
Matt



-----Original Message-----
From: Mike Horwood [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
Sent: 20 February 2004 10:03
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: new sub: Brave New World


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Words between *asteriks* should be read as in italics.


Brave New World

Do *you* remember, too, that moment
in childhood when you first heard
that the earth we stand on is spinning
incredibly fast as it hurtles
through black space, and you thought
of reaching out, to hold on to a tree
to stop yourself being hurled off?

And do you remember, *too*,
how when you felt safe with your feet
on the ground and looked again
at the old, familiar things
you had to accomplish the tightrope feat
of creating them all anew
while keeping your eye on this knowledge?




Mike