Colin, good read. Thoughts if I may. I want to know who the first she is.
The daughter, wife/mother.
she'd said yes. They'd
set off through the lagoon
to the white rim.
Should be They set off
just as
her snorkel snapped
Some unfortunate line breaks. but gasped also and others
I like the end S, but wonder if the daughter S might be two.
Thanks.
Gary
WATCH THIS SPACE FOR AN ANNOUNCEMENT FOR MINDFIRE RENEWED SOON. Poets for
Peace.... ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
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