Gary,
This reminds me of the quote from Arthur Koestler: Fortune favours the
prepared mind.
As for poems about poetry, I'm a moderate. They are not the acme of goodness
and nor are they minions of Lucifer. One now and then is fine, like most
things in life.
As for your poems I prefer the first one and I think that's because I've got
a sense of what it's about. Maybe that's because you said as much. Maybe
it's because I've tried a few poems myself. The second feels too general.
General can be good but in this case I have difficulty applying it to things
that matter to me. Could be my limitation. Technically, I haven't much to
say between them. Isn't it interesting, as you have demonstrated so well,
that with small changes in the right places a poem can pivot into a whole
new zone of significance?
I note typo in second version penultimate line of penultimate stanza: an/a .
Also I am intrigued by stone streaked with pyrites. I'm not sure that you
get the full impact of the metaphor here or risk tipping it the wrong way.
Iron pyrites after all is fool's gold. But a stone streaked with fool's
gold? Yes it could happen in real life. I'm not worried about that. But it
conveys something valueless shot through with something apparently valuable
but actually valueless. If you want value go for some other precious metal
or mineral - lots to choose from . If you want to convey gaudy deception
make the whole "stone" iron pyrites, I say.
BW
Colin
----- Original Message -----
From: "Gary Blankenship" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, February 05, 2004 3:13 PM
Subject: When Mediocrity is Found by the Side of the Road
(I wrote two versions - one using poetry as the theme, one not. Some folks
do not like poems about poems, so I gave them a choice. -- Smiles. Gary)
When Mediocrity is Found by the Side of the Road
as opportunity presents itself. It can take mediocrity into the genius
spectra and beyond.
--Dane Hebert
We set our feet hard on a track
so many others have attempted
to conquer, each fully confident
he knew the solution to its riddles
as we always believe we do.
Strewn along the trail, signs
their confidence was misplaced -
busted similes; paeans to God,
country, leaders, lovers; odes
to birds that sing from gilded cages;
sonnets without meter; bewildered
rhyme; even verse libre without
even the music of common prose.
Beneath the debris, we spot
a hint of sparkle - from jewels
or a treasure of the finest gold.
We shove aside lost, dusty words,
kick the last with our foot to find
a stone streaked with pyrite,
a thumb-sized impression in one side,
small enough to fit in our pocket,
large enough to take our worries
as we set out to find a way others missed.
*
When Mediocrity is Found by the Side of the Road II
as opportunity presents itself. It can take mediocrity into the genius
spectra and beyond.
--Dane Hebert
We set our feet hard on a track
so many others have attempted
to conquer, each fully confident
he knew the solution to its riddles
as we always believe we do.
Strewn along the trail, signs
their confidence was misplaced -
busted buggies; cross stitch paeans to God,
country, leaders, lovers; paintings
of birds that sing from gilded cages;
portraits aunts who pray and pinch;
velvet corsets without whalebone;
notebooks packed with purple prose.
Beneath the debris, we spot
a hint of sparkle - from jewels
or a treasure of the finest gold.
We shove aside tools and toys,
kick the last with our foot to find
an stone with a streak of pyrite,
a thumb-sized impression in one side,
small enough to fit in our pocket,
large enough to take our worries
as we set out to find a way others missed.
Writer's Hood, the best poetry on the web, at http://www.writershood.com/
Poets for Peace.... ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
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