Thanks for the close look at this. It is expository as the poem it is part
of a larger whole so maybe the full effect is not arrived at. Not being a
poet was not meant to be patronising but indeed to make emphatic what you
suctcinctly say yourself. Again, nice to have your views.
bw
James
>From: Helen Clare <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: New Sub: The Ripple Effect
>Date: Thu, 5 Feb 2004 13:45:04 -0000
>
>Hi James
>I find this very interesting if in parts a little too expository.
>There are some beautiful images around rhythm and reflection - the whole
>poem very senstive to the visual and the kinaesthetic.
>I'd have to say the phrase "though not a poet" practically had me jumping
>up
>and shrieking. It seems a little unfair to imply that only poets are
>senstive to rhythms!
>And I'm always uncomfortable with any poem that attmempts to specify
>someone's thoughts and reactions - though I know its often done. I'd sooner
>see the poet step back a jot and use images that suggest rather than put
>his
>words in anothers mind so to speak.
>Best
>Helen
>
>
>
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "James Bell" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Thursday, February 05, 2004 12:44 PM
>Subject: New Sub: The Ripple Effect
>
>
> > I'm working on a couple of long sequences at present and this is an
>extract
> > from one called "The Ripple Effect. Nice to get some C&C.
> > - -
> > Leonardo would stand for a day at a time
> > watch the ripples a stonw would make
> > on hitting water
> >
> > though not a poet he would sense the rythmns
> > that circulated in the air ready to be plucked
> > like word fruit
> >
> > found desire was not to be taken from the air
> > but to join its prescence more fully above
> > rivers and fountains
> >
> > examine the movement of waves and consistency
> > of clouds from his imagined machine that would
> > hover in the air
> >
> > All this came from being still - fasting though
> > feeding on thoughts - travelling the journeys
> > they took him upon
> >
> > In a day he would watch a ripple yet listen
> > to many poems - see wonders on his journey
> > and set them down
> >
> > in notebook and memory as if looking into
> > a mirror with no ripple in the glaze
> > or mercury
> >
> > only full understanding of the experience
> > that minds of his own time would not hold to
> > on a flat Earth
> >
> > where a peasant could not be a philosopher
> > the world be round and heavier than air metal
> > transport delight
> >
> > outside the design of nature - Leonardo
> > would watch the ripple effect
> > and sigh
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > bw
> > James
> >
> > _________________________________________________________________
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