Thanks for the comments everyone. They seem to be perfectly apt. A little
more practise and I'll be able to hone my work to a high standard.
I considered the end of the poem, Ryfkah, and agree in principle. These
lines keep the sense but introduce new imagery to the poem. Here goes ... A
rewrite of the final four lines:
..sinew.
Walk unnoticed or affected
amidst the frenetic energy,
reanimated within,
a seasoned clock spring.
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