Hi John,
I'm enjoying reading through this! (that there's only a milion leaves and
they're of a billion trees is what's just made me pause and reflect a lot
more...)
and each of the parts are gradually showing more of themselves.
I'm not sure (ie I don't know) if I'm supposed to read this sequence as
belonging to a year - there seems to be autumn pieces, winter pieces, but
then there's summer pieces and finally spring pieces (ie the cherry blossom)
nearer the end - and I had to check/restrain/relax the way I was fitting it
together. I don't know how to read Japanese poetry with enough depth... I
guess I know the answer to saying that is simple: read more.
I'm enjoying reading this.
How many authors contributed?
Bob


>From: Carley <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Just Beneath my Seat
>Date: Fri, 23 Jan 2004 16:48:43 -0000
>
>Hi all, this poem is an example of the genre called 'renku'. It is not
>a work in progress but I'd be grateful for any comments. The piece is
>multi-authorial.
>
>Best wishes, john e c
>
>
>a sip of warm tea
>with the song of a cricket
>just beneath my seat
>
>a slender stem of burnet
>inclined towards the bookshelf
>
>the million leaves
>of a billion trees
>illuminate our path
>
>potatoes roasting in a fire,
>a touch of blue in the smoke
>
>glinting through the gap
>in a circle of stones
>a shaft of moonlight
>
>suddenly restored to me
>an anthem of the lost lands
>
>                * * *
>
>spirits triumphant,
>the loyal forty-seven
>walk home in the snow
>
>frozen and re-frozen
>the sinews of the waterfall
>
>deep in its colour
>the herb-dye of the North,
>so is my love hidden
>
>tiny dimples in the cheeks
>of a young maiden smiling
>
>beneath his kevlar vest
>and sweat soaked battle dress
>a crucifix
>
>the toyota's logo
>blown away with the bomber
>
>the end of a year,
>pine torches carried round
>to purify the town
>
>should auld acquaintance be forgot
>behold, the whisky moon
>
>                * * *
>
>through the summer tide
>did I hear a bull whale
>calling their new born?
>
>what is verily great is
>greater yet than mere greatness
>
>time is but a question
>of distance from his lunch:
>the hungry student
>
>beaming girls shake hands,
>akutagawa prize announced
>
>cherry blossoms gone...
>at last ready to enjoy
>the flowers in my heart
>
>this patch of alpine meadow
>in the sway of butterflies
>
>
>
>
>
>       http://www.simplyhaiku.com
>             new issue online now
>       http://www.simplyhaiku.com

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