Bob,

You can of course buy honey of varying viscosity depending on whether
pouring or spreading is the object or vary the viscosity by changing the
temperature, e.g. by storing in the fridge or giving it a quick blast in the
micro just before you pour it out. One of my favourites is to make popcorn
and then...

Anyway, the use of the word "drizzle" is interesting in that context. In
other parts of the Anglophone diaspora, it is the specific word used for the
application of a single long strand of honey teased in an artistic line
across the surface of the soon-to-be eaten. However for me, it makes me
think of the weather, as in, "You won't need an umbrella; it's only
drizzling." This then raises the question of what word I might use for
teasing out of a single long strand of honey in a pencil-thin line. Not sure
that I can think of one, less so one that assonates as well in A's poem.
What about spun? - though that might necessitate changing spin to "come"
(possibly more clumsy and vague) a few lines further on.

Nice to see rarely used words like "fulgent" getting a run for their money
in this poem.

Colin,
who also takes a while to get going in the morning




----- Original Message -----
From: "Bob Cooper" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, December 20, 2004 1:18 PM
Subject: Re: New Sub: Solstice Triptych ( slightly retooled)


> Hi Arthur,
> I'm agreeing with Christina and Gary too!
>
> And have you come across a poem called Small Song by A.R. Ammons: The
> reeds
> give/way to the//wind and give/the wind away. I'm reminded of it here!
>
> I'm also wondering if the line: "to  remember the desolations of before"
> is
> needed? I feel "bleak Atlantic reaches" says enough, is a more poweful way
> of saying it.
>
>
> And, LOL, I'm wondering how you can "drizzle" honey??? All that happens
> with
> me and honey is a droopy glob falling from the spoon to the toast and then
> that stringy length that seems to always find my fingers before I get the
> spoon back to safety. (Perhaps I should wake up more before breakfast!).
> Bob
>
>
>
>
>
>
>>From: Christina Fletcher <[log in to unmask]>
>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: Re: New Sub: Solstice Triptych ( slightly retooled)
>>Date: Sun, 19 Dec 2004 03:39:40 EST
>>
>>
>>Really, there's some wonderful imagery in this, Arthur.  And it's very
>>touching too.  And elegant.  It's a disadvantage for me to have read  your
>>very
>>short reeds/wind poem since that was so memorable.  But this  works
>>extremely
>>well too and I love lines like 'when earth lies stunned with  cold'.  I
>>don't
>>much care for 'weary and failing' and I agree with Gary  about 'Light
>>diffuse
>>through crystal tracery.'  Not sure about diffuses  though...
>>bw
>>christina
>>
>>
>>Solstice  triptych
>>Left panel
>>Reeds  divide the wind
>>beside  the shining mere.
>>Under  a winter moon
>>sided  sleet re-shapes the moor.
>>Even  as the sky wheels,
>>the  earth turns again,
>>begins  the long hurtle into spring.
>>Centre
>>Here  at the year's turning,
>>in  the darkest time,
>>when  earth lies stunned with cold,
>>birds  fall unheeded in the night,
>>the  fountain's tongues are stilled
>>and  snow drifts, with leaves,
>>into  corners of the yard,
>>I  seem now at the end
>>to  which I've always moved.
>>Weary  and failing,
>>I  look back across
>>the  bleak Atlantic reaches of my life
>>to  remember the desolations of before
>>but  see only the sunlit miles
>>of  snow-filled shires lie fulgent
>>in  the long low winter light.
>>Right
>>Light  diffuse through crystal tracery.
>>Honey  for breakfast,
>>drizzled  onto crisp toast,
>>pooled  with butter;
>>from  my spoon spin
>>the  remembered scentsof  a locked summer.
>>
>>
>>
>>