Gary,
Please see below for sugg's. In gen, I'm less impressed by the first third
of the po than by the remaining two thirds, but with a little reworking of
the first third it could be an even more interesting poem.
BW
Colin
----- Original Message -----
From: "Gary Blankenship" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, January 16, 2004 6:56 PM
Subject: Deeds of the Fathers
The inspiration: Henry Wiencek's An Imperfect God: George Washington, His
Slaves, and the Creation of America
Ustwo 53 ??? DON'T KNOW THE SIGNIFICANCE OF USTWO 53 BUT THAT'S MY
PROB.Deeds of the Fathers
THOMAS HAS BEEN THROWN DOWN,
BETRAYED (OR ? JUDGED) BY WORDS HE UTTERED,
ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL,by failure to act when only he could,
the marble on that broken pedestal
stained black and yellow by his deeds.
General Washington,
already first in our hearts,
rises higher and brighter,
forgiven for how long he waited,
for the same dark deeds of Jefferson*,
forgiven for failure to act as a man of Virginia
must if he is to maintain place and station.
one given godhood,
the other marginalized
one forgiven,
the other vilified
much as if Abigail and John
wrote today's history
*DNA COULD HAVE PROVED THAT Jefferson fathered children by Sally Hemings.
ALTHOUGH
there is a tradition that Washington also fathered a son by a slave, Venus,
owned by his brother; the proof is inconclusive and argues against it. In
both cases, there are many other persons living in OR near their estates who
could have fathered either.
Writer's Hood, the best poetry on the web, at http://www.writershood.com/
Poets for Peace.... ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
The inspiration: Henry Wiencek's An Imperfect God: George Washington, His
Slaves, and the Creation of America
ORIG
Ustwo 53 Deeds of the Fathers
Thomas has been thrown down,
all men are created equal
given lie by words he uttered,
pursuit of happiness
by failure to act when only he could,
the marble on that broken pedestal
stained black and yellow by his deeds.
General Washington,
already first in our hearts,
rises higher and brighter,
forgiven for how long he waited,
for the same dark deeds of Jefferson*,
forgiven for failure to act as a man of Virginia
must if he is to maintain place and station.
one given godhood,
the other marginalized
one forgiven,
the other vilified
much as if Abigail and John
wrote today's history
*DNA proved could have Jefferson fathered children by Sally Hemings, though
there is a tradition that Washington also fathered a son by a slave, Venus,
owned by his brother; the proof is inconclusive and argues against it. In
both cases, there are many other persons living in near their estates who
could have fathered either.
Writer's Hood, the best poetry on the web, at http://www.writershood.com/
Poets for Peace.... ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
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