> Hello Matt,
Thanks for your comments. I´ll think over your point about `loss of innocence´. It does point the way rather heavy-handedly. If you´re interested in what I thought I was trying to do here, I´ve given some kind of explanation in the reply I´ve just posted with the subject `Making Connections - Christina´. If you´ve got any further thoughts after reading it I´d be interested to hear.
Best wishes, Mike
>
> Hi Mike,
> There's a lot I like about this, although I probably need to read it a few
> more times to make all the connections myself.
> I wasn't overly keen on the title though, and I'd lose the "in our
> innocence" in the first stanza. It signposts the way the poem is heading a
> bit too much.
> Really good read though, IMO.
> Regards,
> Matt
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf
> Of Mike Horwood
> Sent: 16 December 2004 11:15
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: New sub: Making connections
>
>
> Hello Troops!
> I´m getting really bogged down with this one. Some things about it I like,
> but I´m bothered about whether the connections are really being made here,
> and whether there are too many of them. Please assist a poet in distress (3
> wives and a child to support, erm, no, that´s not right.....
>
>
> Making Connections
>
> Superb, I curve like a coat hook
> in the cloakroom of my first school,
> where, in our innocence, we used to swing,
> two small hands clasped round the shaft,
> knees drawn up, or dream of hoisting
> a foe to leave him hanging helpless
> as the Romans did. Six thousand
> along the Appian Way, nailed
> or tied to the woodwork.
>
> Truly, we are hooked and forked,
> designed to dovetail as smoothly
> as the carpenter slots cross-joints.
> With feet planted slightly apart
> and hips a little forward, I pause
> to glance through the window at a bird
> with a worm twisting in its beak,
> then tense my muscles. I bear against a weight
> and pressure. I press against resistance.
>
> We know how snugly the hook fits the worm,
> how the worm slides down a gullet.
> Yes, I think, it´s all tearing, impaling
> and swallowing. So fishing, carpentry
> and the knowledge that a man will twist
> when a bird spears his eyeball
> all have this in common,
> this loss of innocence.
>
>
>
> Mike
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