Hi Bob,
Very little to crit here, IMO. I really enjoyed it a lot. I'd usually agree
with Christina on references to poetry in poems, but I think it works pretty
well here. The same with the repetition of "only" - I liked the fact that it
could be read either of two ways, as Sally pointed out.
I liked the "I don't care" line too, mainly because it is an otherwise
gentle, nostalgic poem, so this really pulls you up short for a moment.
The "maybes" in the second stanza are nice too - they work well to blur a
lot of what is being remembered, and throw the significant moment into
sharper relief.
And any mention of Mud in a poem is to be encouraged!
Regards,
Matt
-----Original Message-----
From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf
Of Bob Cooper
Sent: 11 December 2004 16:33
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: It Came Upon A Midnight Clear
At long last, here's a poem for some C&C:
and, as is often the case, the words between asterixes are supposed to be
read in italics - they're a snippet from a song by Mud that was in the UK
charts so many years ago!
It Came Upon The Midnight Clear
It was Christmas Eve, we'd all been singing
and a half-empty half-bottle of Bells
warmed in my hand in one overcoat pocket
and your hand held mine in the other
as our shoes squeaked on the snow.
Maybe you were singing softly - *It'll be lonely
this Christmas, lonely and cold* -
maybe I sang too, maybe not,
that might have been the song that year -
then under a streetlight you almost slipped
and we embraced, chilled nose to warm cheek,
and your eyes were clear light.
I don't care what's become of you
or of me. We moved on. Only this happened,
and only for as long as this poem.
Bob Cooper
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