>
> Hello Michi,
Yes, I see how your explanation fits. Iīd picked up that the other party admitted to their feelings but read the focus of the poem as being entirely on the narrator, but of course, it doesnīt have to be and in the situation as you describe it there is a shared secret.
Yes to the other point, too. Welcome to Finland, where the sun donīt shine. Iīm situated 200 kms north of Helsinki. To put that in a British perspective, Helsinki shares a latitude with the Shetland Islands. Actually we do have daylight in winter, but it is definitely of seconds quality and shop-soiled to boot. Do I sound like Iīm moaning? Finland has its compensations.
Best wishes, Mike
>
> hi mike,
>
> thanks for your thoughts on this.
> you are reading it half-right, i would say. there is something that almost
> happened, but there are confessions - the two are actually admitting to
> having feelings for each other, to physical attraction, but they also decide
> not to do anything about it, because of other ties. so there is something
> real, there are truths they share, and there are also fantasies.
> maybe i need to make that clearer in the poem?
>
> judging from your email addy, you are in finland? pretty dark up there, this
> time of year. *S* how far north are you? any northern lights?
>
> michi
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Mike Horwood" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Friday, December 10, 2004 3:36 PM
> Subject: Re: new sub: confessions in minor
>
>
> Hello Michaela,
> I like this a lot. I read it as the record of a non-event and
> the subsequent fantasising of the narrator. I donīt know if thatīs exactly
> howe you intended it. In my reading, there is one phrase that doesnīt seem
> to fit/harmonise (and that may indicate that Iīm trying to impose a false
> reading, of course). The phrase I erfer to is the final line of S4 `unwrap
> the ones we shareī. This seems to go beyond fantasy to imply a concrete
> relationship ( though others might argue that a relationship made of
> concrete is itself a fantasy). But I felt it out of keeping with the way I
> was reading the poem. Everything else worked really well. I love the sense
> of something almost happening in the opening stanzas and the narratorīs
> seeking compensations in the closing ones.
> Regarding a title. I think this one shaky. What about Unwanted/ Not Wanted
> (not very good either, I fear) or Love Letters to Invisible Men ( A....Man)?
> I hope this is useful.
>
> Best wishes, Mike
>
>
>
> >
> > hi again,
> >
> > here's some work in progress from me. i am not sure about the title,
> changed it to "minor confessions", then back to "confessions in minor" and
> so on about 5 times now. talk about being indecisive. ;)
> >
> > any comments appreciated. i am not sure italics works for you, so i will
> indicate the words with an (i).
> >
> > m
> >
> >
> > confessions in minor
> >
> >
> >
> > so you felt it too --
> >
> > attraction, unwanted as a stray cat
> >
> > on some upper class doorstep.
> >
> >
> >
> > you left early, desperate to escape,
> >
> > refused to pack it in your suitcase;
> >
> > still it followed you home.
> >
> >
> >
> > this is your first admission.
> >
> > I imagine how your finger hovered
> >
> > over (i)"send"(/i), how you exhaled sharply,
> >
> >
> >
> > surprised at your own nerve.
> >
> > now I breathe in the smell of secret truths,
> >
> > unwrap the ones we share.
> >
> >
> >
> > I take our near-flirt, put it on my
> >
> > shelf of favourite things, dust it carefully,
> >
> > bask in the glow of your confessions.
> >
> >
> >
> > I'll save this feeling
> >
> > for dull december days
> >
> > when neither sun nor fire warms me.
> >
> >
> >
> > I know a night will come
> >
> > when I smile at my reflection
> >
> > to hear the mirror whisper (i)"sensual"(/i).
> >
> >
> >
> > the moon will slip behind a cloud
> >
> > and not return for days, still trying
> >
> > to forget the sparkle of my eyes.
> >
> >
> >
> > but you are safe; i will compose
> >
> > love letters to invisible men,
> >
> > never break my vow of silence.
> >
> >
> >
> > michaela a. gabriel
> > http://members.chello.at/michaela.a.gabriel
> > ----------------------------------------
> > "deeds cannot dream what dreams can do" -- e.e.cummings
> >
>
|