Hi Terri,
I like this. As Arthur says it is very songlike, and for me, the form seemed
appropriate for the subject and the air of nostalgia. It reminded me a bit
of Paul Durcan's poem, The Kilfenora Teaboy, although it's so long since I
read it that maybe the similarity is only very superficial.
I think you've captured an authentic South Wales voice very well, without
being obvious or going over the top. "See the tobie I got in my mouth"
sounds very Valleys to me.
But it's a small world, isn't it? My mother and all her side of the family
are from Bridgend, and I remember about a year ago being astounded to find
that Sally Evans and Roger both had connections with the area. And now the
Garw crops up! My mam went to school in Blaengarw after failing her 11-plus,
and had to live there during the week with her nan.
But I'm rambling. Good poem, IMO.
Regards,
Matt



-----Original Message-----
From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf
Of alderoak
Sent: 05 December 2004 19:50
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Postcards from Reno


Postcards from Reno

For David Davies

Here I am the Garw Boy
Left home nineteen - oh - five
Here I am the Garw Boy
Who keeps his mother

See the tobie I got in my mouth
Between the boarding mrs and her sister-in-law
I am happy as the day is long
Good as Gold wherever he goes
And well thought of

The boarding mrs only nineteen
The sun was too strong for her eyes
Good as Gold wherever he goes
The Garw Boy who keeps his mother

All I wish for
Is a good paying job for to send you money
I don't want any women
All married women

And he is thirty-five
A great difference in ages

Here is the Derrick where I am working
What we call a river dam
The iron workers are behind and I
Am further on than this card shows

See the tobie I got in my mouth
I am the Garw Boy
        Although far from my eyes
Who keeps his mother
        So near to my heart.


Terri )O(
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