Shalom James,

Your title works for me.  Further comments below in poem.

kol tuv, Ryfkah

In a message dated 11/20/2004 7:04:19 AM, [log in to unmask] writes:

<< One from the notebook and part of the estuary sequence again.

SERMON ON A SANDBANK

There is some kind of debate going on
at the turn in a sandbank where the geese gather
some on land, some on the very flat water -  [I like the assonance with the
short a sounds here and in the line above and below]

several wings flap, some honk -
it's like a version of Jesus giving a sermon  [interesting simile]
while standing in a boat on the Sea of Galilee -

though nobody walks on water and all boats [I like this further reference to
Jesus]
are moored way off nearer the shore -
it's a space between a bleakness [love this line and the way it flows into
the next stanza]

that is close to desolation
except for this band of pilgrims observed  [don't know if pilgrims is the
right word]
only by you and a curlew who passes on foot  [like this curlew reference; f
eels right]



bw
James >>