> Hello Christina,
It would be interesting to see the original version side-by-side with this rewrite. I remember that I liked the original version but I haven´t saved a copy.
best wishes, Mike
> Lähettäjä: Christina Fletcher <[log in to unmask]>
> Päiväys: 2004/01/14 ke PM 11:11:46 GMT+02:00
> Vastaanottaja: [log in to unmask]
> Aihe: Away From The Manger (new draft)
>
> I've been working on this with Bob's comments on language in mind. I don't
> think it addresses the problems Helen had but I'm not sure that I can at the
> moment. I hope it's a bit better but who knows, eh?
> bw
> christina
>
>
>
> Away from the Manger
>
> I've lost pink Jesus, the cows and sheep.
> Fleas and lice thirsted in the straw
> so my swaddled child and his mum did a runner
> on Neddy, clinging to soft tufts to navigate
> the folds of a supermarket bag. His huge ears
> were always pricked; his hooves
> tough as hell on the stoniest ground.
>
> I don't miss Maryblue's plastic smile.
> Was she a virgin? Who cares?
> And babies are as babies are: wet, hungry
> or asleep. But who'll feed my Neddy?
> Who'll brush his belly and stroke him to sleep?
> I scour street markets with hay and carrots;
> from dusk to dawn I bray and bray.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> christina fletcher
>
>
>
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