Hello Sally - this is a fine piece of writing. The first two stanzas are
excellent. I love the lines "bone white ........ night".
Maybe there is a little repetition in the last stanza which diminishes the
power. Possibly reconsider the first and last lines which echo each other?
Best wishes
Catherine
>
>A woman's path
>
>Our path is a stream that rolls like a teardrop
>down mountains and gullies
>to dry river beds.
>We splash over boulders
>bone white in the summer
>and seep underground in the dead of the night.
>
>We merge in the valley
>with new paths in the springtime
>when snows of the winter
>change water to wine.
>It is there we will marry and laugh in the sunshine
>and race with the fishes right down to the sea.
>
>Too soon we must part and divide in the ocean
>and where all our tears become salt for the waves.
>Forever and ever this cycle continues
>as mist from the sea causes clouds to be formed,
>which burst over mountains and roll
>with the raindrops like tears from all woman
>way down to the sea.
>
>
>Sally James
>
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