> Hello Gary,
A couple of suggestions and a query; did you want to repeat the new moon from S1 in S2?In S3 what about `resoling´ or if you want to avoid -ing, what about `new soles´? What about dropping `high´ in the same line? How about using `luggage stowed´ rather than `stored´?
I hope these ideas are useful.
Best wishes, Mike
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> The final - A River Transformed XX:
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> After Wang Wei's Pepper Tree Garden (20)
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> The Last Step Taken
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> The celebrations finished, bottles tossed,
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> boats docked and market shuttered -
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> the village gates are closed and bolted
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> against the careless wreck of a new moon.
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> Beyond blue hills, red deer graze new moss,
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> fox kits roll in the soft dirt near their den.
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> The villagers sleep by a new moon's light
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> as brown monkeys steal tomorrow's quiet.
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> We unpack - books, souvenirs, glass goddesses.
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> You cannot find the high boots that need resoled.
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> Luggage stored, we settle in like morning fog
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> as I wait for day to light the mountain road.
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> A hay wagon has broken down at the crossing.
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> From a coach, a passenger may have waved good-bye.
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> *
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> I am not home and do not have a good translation with me. I forgot to pack them. I have a very poor version which came with a cd of music set to the poems. I will attempt to retranslate:
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> With cinnamon wine, welcome the royal daughters;
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> give gifts of fragrant grass to the Beautiful Goddess;
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> and greet the Prince of Clouds
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> with peppered drink and sumptuous feast.
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> Based on a legend from the Warring States Period of 481 BC to 221 BC. The daughters became fairies upon their death. The Goddess and Prince were also fairies.
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> **For the Fall issue** go to http://www.mindfirerenew.com/<http://www.mindfirerenew.com/> for THE BEST NEW ZINE ON THE WEB and to http://www.mindfirerenew.com/fireweednov/1104-front.html<http://www.mindfirerenew.com/fireweednov/1104-front.html> for our new issue of monthly mini-zine. Poets for Peace.... ¡Poemas sí, balas no!
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