Thanks Matt, Yes I will admit the title is too obvious will try and think of
something else. Bw Sally J

>From: "Merritt, Matt - Leic. Mercury"
><[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new sub. A woman's path
>Date: Thu, 11 Nov 2004 11:35:42 -0000
>
>Hi Sally,
>I agree with Arthur that there's a really nice rhythm to this. It suits the
>subject matter well in the way it rolls along.
>One nit for me was the title. I think it tells the reader a bit too much of
>what to expect, so I'd prefer something a bit more non-committal
>(unfortunately I can't think of anything useful though - I'm terrible with
>titles myself). The idea of the path is still introduced in the first line,
>and the last two lines make it clear you are talking about "all women".
>Good read though IMO.
>Regards,
>Matt
>
>
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf
>Of Sally James
>Sent: 11 November 2004 10:34
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: new sub. A woman's path
>
>
>A woman's path
>
>Our path is a stream that rolls like a teardrop
>down mountains and gullies
>to dry river beds.
>We splash over boulders
>bone white in the summer
>and seep underground in the dead of the night.
>
>We merge in the valley
>with new paths in the springtime
>when snows of the winter
>change water to wine.
>It is there we will marry and laugh in the sunshine
>and race with the fishes right down to the sea.
>
>Too soon we must part and divide in the ocean
>and where all our tears become salt for the waves.
>Forever and ever this cycle continues
>as mist from the sea causes clouds to be formed,
>which burst over mountains and roll
>with the raindrops like tears from all woman
>way down to the sea.
>
>
>Sally James
>
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