Yeh Gary,
I guess only time will tell if this fits in the sequence or sits alongside 
the sequence... such tough decisions are probably best made when there's a 
feeling that everything's been written and there's a sense of forgetting why 
things were written that helps the writer see things more objectively. And 
it's rare that a novel, say, gets away with changing from I/you writing to 
switching to writing in the third person. I feel Point of View, as a 
subject, belongs to sequences and series of poems as well.
Bob
(who once wondered why a particular ordering of poems in a collection felt 
so uncomfortable until he noticed how the switch from 1st to 2nd to 3rd 
person was interrupting things and who then could make the ordering and the 
flow from one to the next feel much easier!)


>From: Gary Blankenship <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: A River Transformed XVI: After Wang Wei's Lake Yi (11) Bob
>Date: Tue, 19 Oct 2004 18:31:16 -0700
>
>Hi Gary,
>Ah - so the you in previous poems is a She! That surprised me - I 
>suspected,
>and read "you" as same-sex-as-the-writer! I think I'd feel happier with
>"You."
>Anyone else think the You was a woman???????
>I'm also totally baffled by the title...
>and the word "holes" is euphamistic I presume. Do you need a euphamism 
>here?
>I sense I'd feel happier with more plain language.
>Bob
>
>Bob, the you is not this She.  This She is a departure.  The only work
>entirely in the third person.  I wanted this one to be an anti-war bit,
>without the war ever mentioned.  I consider it the most problematic of the
>set.
>
>The title is play.
>
>BTW, S3 is now
>
>A storm gathers outside, high winds predicted.
>The city's dwellers search for dry holes, warmth;
>she treads the avenue, unaware the season's brass
>rings her days, visibility zero.
>
>The tears gone.
>
>Thanks.
>
>Gary
>
>
>
>
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