Hi Sally,
It's always very difficult to know what is too personal, if indeed anything
can be, but whether you file it away until a much later date or develop it
now, there's plenty here that I would keep and work with.
I tend to agree with Arthur and find it very difficult to write directly
about personal loss, but think that even so it is bound to inform the way
you write etc.
Regards,
Matt
-----Original Message-----
From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf
Of Sally James
Sent: 16 October 2004 14:32
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: new sub The going away
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Hi Arthur, Thanks for your response. I understand how you feel some things
hurt so much it is beyond words. This poem is about my father, I was writing
a collection about him the months before he died. He died early this year. I
had written about fifteen poems about his life as a miner and I found the
few first lines of this poem last night and just worked on them. I had been
to a reading in Manchester the day before by a famous Australian poet Les
Murray who wrote about his father's death and I guess it inspired me to
finish off this poem. I suppose I may be seen as wallowing in sadness with
my poetry at the moment for which I apologise. Most of my serious poetry is
about loss and death and I am afraid I am inflicting this on you all at the
moment. I am afraid email is so easy and I act so spontaineously that maybe
this is a poem that should have been stacked away with all the others about
loss that I have written recently. Thanks for your comments Arthu I
appreciate this. Sally J
>From: Arthur Seeley <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new sub The going away
>Date: Sat, 16 Oct 2004 13:18:46 +0100
>
>Hi Sally.
>I can understand the need for catharsis that this poem represents and
>empathise closely with that need. It is a subject that I personally
>will not go near. It is a personal thing, deeply so, but I will not
>overtly write about my wife's death nor the loss I felt. The reason for
>that is that the loss and pain were so deeply felt they were beyond
>words, or rather my ability to reflect in words upon that time and
>anything I wrote would not be
>enough and if I tried to make it enough it would degenerate into less than
>it should be. As I say this is my personal response to my loss and not to
>your poem. I wonder if it can ever be well done? At the same time I
>recognise the changes in me that have occurred since her death and
>attributable to that loss and I can see how they inform the way I see and
>understand things and how that ultimately informs the way I write my
>poetry,
>the words I choose, the images I employ, the subjects I address.
>Regards Arthur.
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Sally James" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Friday, October 15, 2004 10:11 PM
>Subject: new sub The going away
>
>
> > The going away
> >
> >
> > Wrinkles tell the story
> > folds of skin, fall in waves
> > hang like a noose
> > slack, around his neck
> >
> > Veins, no longer throb
> > pencilled blue lines in
> > the damp warmth
> > of his lingering hand
> >
> > He held on, till the last tick
> > till early morning clouds, paled
> > his last goodbye, and love for me
> > was the stroke of a finger in my palm
> >
> > Death took him, while I was away
> > asleep in a day, when the night
> > before, had been far too long
> > He needed his solitude to leave
> >
> > How men hurt, with their going away
> > and never coming back
> > last whimpers, when I am not there
> > to hold, and just be
> >
> > A life alone now, but with no regrets
> > my last sad song, a silent tear
> > for the one who went away
> > did not die, yet is not here.
> >
> >
> >
> > Sally James
> >
> > _________________________________________________________________
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> >
> >
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