Thank you for your comments, Annabelle.
kol tuv, Ryfkah
In a message dated 09/30/2004 8:29:47 AM, [log in to unmask] writes:
<< Ryfkah, I felt the poem take off in the third stanza.
The men wear their kittels
buried in tradition
married to women
kept in the home
out of the wilderness
The first sentence seemed like it should follow not lead. I didn't
understand, the time or place of "men in their kittles" excuse my ignorance
but it sounded like another time and place away from "banana splits."
So their is a feeling of constant tone shifts, which is perhaps what you
want, but I would have to agree with Sue that you could make more of a
connection between stanzas. I think you're on to something here. Even
though I had a little trouble with the tone shifts, I wanted to learn more
about this poem. It felt like I was being shown something that I might
never have the privelege to see. Excellent job -Annabelle >>
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