Hi James, sally, Roger, Gary,
Thanks for these comments!
Brief replies:
James & Roger & Gary,
If publishers groan I hope they don't groan for as long as the poet's who've
worked on the poems sumitted! It's thankfully very rare for a writer to
apologise for what a publisher's done.
Writes Bob who had a few pints on Saturday with an editor who was tearing
her hair out because a short-story collection she's compiled is taking so,
so, long to appear!
And Gary, I'm still working through the intricacies and subtleties of small
words: change an "as" to a "while" and the poem gets giddy and wants to
launch off into all kinds of other thoughts!
Slowly, ever so slowly, I'm getting there!
And Sally - it's a long time since I had a poem where such inferred meanings
could be altered so easily. I sense this poem is an exercise in my own
careful reading as careful writing!
Bob
>From: Sally Evans <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: Prague In Midsummer (revised)
>Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2004 12:44:13 +0100
>
>Yes its a lot clearer now,
>
>In the first version I thought you meant the 21st century was rubbish so
>the
>young student died in vain. Now you have spelt it out it is less obvious
>whether you are for or against the new century, but then, how do we know
>how
>it will turn out yet?
>
>A good poem - and worth the long lines.
>
>bw
>SallyE
> on 1/9/04 10:48 am, James Bell at [log in to unmask] wrote:
>
> > Hi Bob,
> >
> > Long may publishers groan. The always have, often to their own
>detriment. I
> > like this very much. It has great humanity, and sensuality, fronting the
> > backdrop of such a magnificent city as Prague.
> >
> > Great stuff and good luck with whoever you offer it to.
> >
> >
> >
> > bw
> > James
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >> From: Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>
> >> Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
> >> To: [log in to unmask]
> >> Subject: Prague In Midsummer (revised)
> >> Date: Wed, 25 Aug 2004 13:12:39 +0000
> >>
> >> So, here's what's turned out after a lot of work.
> >> It's still got long lines - and it's still in 4,5,5 lined stanzas
> >> (And, Oh, how publishers groan when they see how it's been written!)
> >> (and any further comments also welcome!)
> >>
> >> Prague In Midsummer
> >>
> >> I almost cry in the thirty-degree heat below the National Museum
> >> at the shrine of Jan Palach – his dates and small photograph
> >> almost obscured by flowers – where tourists pause, smile at camcorders
> >> and speak American with the bronze Wenceslas statue above them
> >>
> >> and behind the baseball caps, the Hawaiian shirts, a steel-wire
>sculpture,
> >> taller than the saint, of a young woman’s legs, her panties below her
> >> knees,
> >> and beyond pavements, cooler under the shadows of awnings and trees,
> >> are the crowded street-cafes where tables wobble beneath pizzas and
>beer,
> >> the rock music in shops, dark casino doorways, sweating bouncers
>outside
> >> bars,
> >>
> >> but way above us, through the Museum’s open windows on the top floor,
> >> there’ll still be hushed people who’ve seen what’s displayed, read the
> >> signs,
> >> who now look down on the Square – we don’t see them, they don’t see us
> >> just the 21st Century the young student died for, such small people
>moving
> >> and the long naked legs, the almost lost knickers.
> >>
> >> Bob Cooper
> >>
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