Dear James,
A few specific points below.
Kind regards,
grasshopper
----- Original Message -----
From: "James Bell" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Saturday, September 04, 2004 2:44 PM
Subject: [THE-WORKS] New sub: The View From Here
> This is part of a new river poem sequence. Comments would be welcomed.
>
>
> Today I counted 165 geese
> swimming like an invasion flotilla upstream -
> in that light they chose a dull day (the 'dull day' is enough to describe
the light)
> though one in which
> the river was calm and sharp to the eye
>
> They moved in a single long line (in single file?)
> with necks and heads aloft like masts
> before feathered craft
>
> that moved quietly in an agreed accord ('agreed' is redundant)
> that knew what came next (this is pathetic fallacy, I think. Does an
accord know?)
> that knew I watched
> with the confidence of those whose intentions (these words seem to be
referring to the narrator, rather than the birds, because of their position
in the sentence)
> will not be changed
> on a day when no other bird is present
>
>
> bw
> James
>
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