-Thanks Catherine for your response it is very helpful.
-Ryfka it is a poem that just seemed to come to me. A lot of my poems are this way but unfortunately to me they do not "work". They are very visual and sometimes they seem to turn into a laundry list because I'm unable to tie the moment together, that's what I'm trying to work on. -Annabelle
-----Original Message-----
From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On
Behalf Of Ryfkah *
Sent: Wednesday, August 25, 2004 12:58 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: New sub: Fall
Shalom Annabelle,
I was wondering if this poem came up the way you wrote it? I like the images
portrayed like nimble clouds hatching clouds, flowers skirts made of tulle,
etc...very visual.
kol tuv, Ryfkah
In a message dated 08/25/2004 7:44:16 AM, [log in to unmask] writes:
<<
Fall
People running through the streets
looking over their shoulder attract
not as much attention as
nimble clouds hatching swans
around truculent dinosaur’s teeth with
elephant’s ears.
A placid wind blows showing indifference
as I inspect the land
As it transforms from calm into Leviathan
during the Autumn months.
Fall hustles the leaves from on high into the gutter
stream.
The flowers skirts made of tulle
twirl as the cars drive by.
The trees attempt to hitchhike bending to meet the cars whizzing
along the road.
A man pushes and shoves a rake combing the ground while
Small children in constant motion wearing jackets
wool hats and scarves mimic the snowmen who
are to come and hold their place.
Annabelle Baptista >>
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