Hi Catherine,
An immediate apology as I'm going to be negative though hopefully
constuctive. There is a glimmering of a good poem here though I feel that
it's pedestrian at present. Why? The obvious Shakespeare reference in the
first line. I've known much worse drama queens. Could the narrator become
really nasty. It's not clear if the theatrical references are just a vehicle
for a failed love affair or a yearning for one. I'd ultimately see this as
an idea for a poem, or notes, that need to be expanded greatly for maximum
impact. Hope this helps.
bw
James
>From: catherine JF <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New: Drama Queen
>Date: Wed, 11 Aug 2004 23:42:58 +0100
>
>Comments welcome - please advise with neither - nor!
>
>
>
>Drama Queen
>
>
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>All this strutting and fretting
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>and you don't even get a bit part
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>in this production.
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>
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>Neither director, agent nor audience
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>watching in the dim-out
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>as we stumble through our lines.
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>
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>I select scenes to replay
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>in these private screenings
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>only the lighting is yours.
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>
>
>Can you fill the gaps in the script
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>by studying my flush or pallor,
>
>by reading my hands and eyes?
>
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