Hi Gary - This is lovely but somehow doesn't touch me.  A little gilding of 
the lily maybe.  I would like to see the last lines

The crickets sang
but as I remember
the wasps were quiet

Tranquil and melancholy.  Gary do you ever get really, really angry?  I'd 
love to see an poem full of rage from you!

Catherine
>
>(I hate it when that happens)
>
>If I Return to Deer Park
>
>(After an Introduction to the Introduction to Wang Wei -
>an interpretation of Deer Park Hermitage inspired by Pain Not Bread's*
>vision of Wang Wei's poem.)
>
>The market is shuttered and locked for the night;
>cries of "persimmons," "cinnamon," "dragon's gold,"
>the scurry of rats, beetles and a priest's footpad.
>
>The road to the mountain village is deserted;
>thunder in the black mountains reverberates
>until I imagine the shouts of a mob's anger.
>
>Remember the evening's light in secret copses
>as we waited beneath cedar, wild crabapple
>and abandoned nests for another day to end.
>
>Smoke in the west broke as the sun returned
>to illuminate mounds of moss and toadstools;
>you and I unaware the light shined red and green.
>
>Crickets sang of peaches and mahogany;
>as I remember, the wasps were quiet.
>
>*Pain Not Bread is a group of three Canadian poets whose Introduction to 
>the
>Introduction to Wang Wei, Brick Books, uses classical Chinese poetry as the
>basis for modern poems.
>
>A literal translation of Wang Wei:
>
>Empty mountain(s)/hill(s) (negative) to see person/people
>But to hear person/people words/conversation sound/to echo
>To return bight(ness)/shadow(s) to enter deep forest
>To return/again to shine/reflect green/blue/black moss/lichen
>above/on(top of)/top
>
>(E. Weinberger)
>
>
>
>GO TO http://www.mindfirerenew.com/ THE BEST NEW ZINE ON THE WEB.
>Issue 1 ready to read.    Poets for Peace.... ˇPoemas sí, balas no!