Thans Ryf. i think using this particular form of line ending brigns out ones
assonance skills - try it!
best
SallyEon 9/8/04 4:22 am, Ryfkah * at [log in to unmask] wrote:
> Your alliteration, assonance, and consonance are superb in this poem.
>
> kol tuv, Ryfkah
>
>
> In a message dated 08/08/2004 2:19:31 PM, [log in to unmask] writes:
>
> << Shore Gooseberries
>
> Along your beach where tide's plash-wavelets drown,
> cliff fresh above, a grass-bank scissor-torn
> abandons salt sand-pebbles, fossiled stone,
> where the heath-track runs through the burnlet's dene.
>
> By tufted grass and ragged rose-hip, thorn,
> lone gooseberry-tree these golden globes adorn,
> unseen before they ripened out of green,
> guards the old path, but now its wealth is known.
>
> Attack is imminent, the fruit falls down
> as we marauding children backward grown
> make good our gain from branches' prickled crown,
> appropriate the berries not the scene,
>
> retreat with sweet ingredients for cuisine,
> to share, like memories, with you and Jane.
>
> Sally Evans >>
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