Hi Christina, I know what you mean about the last line but the first four I
don't know about as I have never read the Song of Songs or Moulana. Thanks
for comments though will think about this. Bw Sally J
>From: Christina Fletcher <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new sub any port
>Date: Sat, 31 Jul 2004 08:39:45 EDT
>
>
>Hello Sally,
>The first four lines reminded me a bit too much of the Song of Songs or
>echoes of Moulana and I found that off-putting. The poem starts for me in
>line
>five so my preference would be to delete lines 1-4. I'd also consider
>losing
>the last line nevertheless making it clear that the ship's sailing away.
>What do you think?
>bw
>christina
>
>Any port
>
>In the grey stone wall of the morning
>I search for you
>but in the blushing pink of sky
>I see nothing
>This is a new day beginning
>excitement flutters on a blackbird’s wing
>and damp flowers uncurl
>There is an ache to these early hours
>when the moon has turned tides
>and there is nothing left on the horizon
>except a ship in full sail
>and an empty harbour after the storm.
>
>sally james
>
>
>
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