Hi Bob,
Thanks for the very kind comments. I've been surprised by how well this poem
has gone down, to be honest, which just shows I'm a terrible judge of my own
work!
I think you're dead right with your suggestions. "Bored" does belong on the
next line, so I have made that change already, and I like the idea of saying
something about the man's face towards the end there. I'm going to have a
good tinker with that tonight.
Thanks again for your help, and glad you liked it.
Regards,
Matt
-----Original Message-----
From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf
Of Bob Cooper
Sent: 28 July 2004 17:48
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: [POSSIBLE SPAM - PLEASE NOTIFY OCONNOR, KEITH - NNG OR PLUMB, ANDY
- NNG IF THIS IS UNWANTED SPAM MAIL - LMXX-SWPR-OO1] Re: New sub: Last Man
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Hi Matt,
Hey, this is great. The mood, and the characters of both the teams, as well
as the last man are all just how it is in so many places in so, so many
games - probably in so, so many countries and counties as well as in
Leicester! If you were to fiddle with it then think about the "drowning
defeat" phrase (maybe a bit of a cliche?) and the "batting back bored" (cos
bored belongs to the next line in how I read it) and it "could" be that the
words batting back might be replaced... (I'm thinking of the guy's face, his
contrasting expression to the bored fielders...) But such tinkering merely
makes a grand poem even grander. Bob
>From: "Merritt, Matt - Leic. Mercury"
><[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New sub: Last Man
>Date: Wed, 21 Jul 2004 16:27:41 +0100
>
>Apologies to any of you who hate cricket, or just cricket poems.
>
>
>Last Man
>
>No chance now, not so much as a glimmer,
>and no use relying on the English weather.
>This is his summer - not the poets' spell
>cast by white-clad ritual, but the long walk
>from a dressing room thick with sweat, steam
>and the slow afternoon's deep heat,
>arriving at a crease cratered and scarred,
>team-mates already drowning defeat,
>lights showing bright from the Welfare's bar.
>
>Then the urge to go down all guns blazing,
>bat flailing through the frantic arc from
>desperate to glorious, but each week instead
>this same stonewall stand. The stained
>Gunn and Moore snug in his hands, full face
>flush against out-thrust pad. Batting back bored
>looks from beneath the gathered baseball caps.
>And walking off again unconquered, intact.
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Northcliffe Retail or Northcliffe Accounting Center. This e-mail and any
other files transmitted with it are confidential and solely for the use of
the intended recipient. If you are not the intended recipient or the person
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