Thanks for your suggestions Colin. Sally J


>From: hui dewar <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new sub Mr Plod/Sally J
>Date: Tue, 20 Jul 2004 16:54:00 +0100
>
>Thanks. And I was wondering if billowing was a word that you could use for
>the cape or swirling - if you wanted to choose a word that was cheerfully
>over the top and hence a bit ironic, or you might go for a drabber word if
>you wanted to make the policeman less formidable - but then you know this
>already,
>
>Colin
>
>
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Sally James" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 2:16 PM
>Subject: Re: new sub Mr Plod/Sally J
>
>
> > Thank you Colin for reading my poem and still liking it after a few
> > readings. I sometimes wonder were these sort of poems come from. I did
>see
>a
> > policeman walking in town in the rain and thought how odd. They are
>usually
> > in twos and in a car. There is a lot of binge and underage drinking
>around
> > this area and I thought of when I was young and if I saw the bobby
>walking
> > the streets how it scared me. In those days as youngsters we got caned
>in
> > school and smacked at home if we mis-behaved. The local bobby would be
>there
> > to give the added sense of discipline when we were not in school or at
>home
> > or in Sunday school. But times cahnge. Sally J
> >
> >
> > >From: hui dewar <[log in to unmask]>
> > >Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
> > >To: [log in to unmask]
> > >Subject: Re: new sub Mr Plod/Sally J
> > >Date: Sat, 17 Jul 2004 16:54:14 +0100
> > >
> > >Sally J,
> > >
> > >I've read this a few times and still like it, even if it does run the
>risk
> > >of being a political poem. I like it because it is clear and economical
>in
> > >it's use of language at the same time as capturing a complex social
> > >problem.
> > >Reading the poem I ought to have problem working out that the first
>person
> > >is a policeman (for whom the poem allows some sympathy) and the second
>lot
> > >of people are rascals. But I don't. So I guess you have got excellent
>cues
> > >in the poem, that trigger those series of associations. You might
>consider
> > >ROUND instead of AROUND because it runs better IMO. "Swaying" would be
> > >another word to put under the magnifying glass. Not saying that it has
>to
> > >go, but there might be another word that applies better to how a cloak
> > >moves
> > >at the same time as conjuring ludicrous vulnerability.
> > >
> > >As an aside, it may be interesting to consider that there are plenty of
> > >countries where the police would take the youths off to a locked
>facility
> > >for a few days, beat them blue and red and then return them to the
>streets,
> > >if they were cheeky to the police. In such countries what seems to
>happen
> > >is
> > >that the vicious youths  disappear. They join the police instead,
>because
> > >of
> > >the opportunities for violence.
> > >
> > >BW
> > >
> > >Colin
> > >
> > >
> > >----- Original Message -----
> > >From: "Sally James" <[log in to unmask]>
> > >To: <[log in to unmask]>
> > >Sent: Saturday, July 17, 2004 4:26 AM
> > >Subject: new sub Mr Plod
> > >
> > >
> > >Mr Plod
> > >
> > >I saw him today, walking the streets
> > >on his own, getting wet,
> > >his cape swaying like batman's
> > >his helmet making him look seven feet tall
> > >
> > >"Quick put out the spliff
> > >hide the cider
> > >look in the shop window
> > >that guys a big bugger
> > >I wonder if he has a truncheon under his cape
> > >hand cuffs in his pocket
> > >wears a bullet proof vest
> > >
> > >Even if he has
> > >he can't clip us around the ear-hole
> > >give us a kick up the backside
> > >six of the best
> > >a sharp short shock
> > >come to think of it no one can
> > >so light me a spliff
> > >pass the cider
> > >nick that car
> > >kids rule now
> > >O.K."
> > >
> > >sally james
> > >
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