Hi Bob,
I think your blues analogy is spot-on. At the paper where I work, the bloke
who writes the blues column is very keen on "authenticity", whereas I have
to say I find that a bit boring and much prefer artists who concentrate more
on the feel of the music.
And the same goes for sonnets - there's nothing wrong with them fitting all
the "rules", but I think it would get a bit tedious if people didn't bend
and shape the form to their own requirements a bit now and then.
Regards,
Matt
-----Original Message-----
From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf
Of Bob Cooper
Sent: 17 July 2004 15:55
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: new sub In my dreams (revised)
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Hi Sally,
Oh, you ask the most interesting question: is this a sonnet? (Well, actually
you ask if it's a variation... but every one's a variation - of a form that
originated in Sicily and has been lost! So, I read you as simply asking: is
this a sonnet.)
It's one of those questions that ain't easy to answer - cos it depends what
else is seen as a sonnet.
I mean, definitions exist - and most of the definitions seem to infer that
there are rules for particular types of sonnet, usually with particular
rhyme schemes - and often with an iambic pentameter line length. (But I've
got one or two sonnets stored somewhere that have only one word on each
line...). And I'd want to say that Pushkin's Yevgeny Onegin's a novel of
sonnets - using the same line length as you're using.
Then there's the notion that a sonnet MUST have 14 lines - but it needn't
necessarily follow a traditional rhyme scheme, and the inference is that
it's got to look as if it's a sonnet. (But Tony Harrison writes 16 line
sonnets - and he wasn't the first guy to do that! And Gerald Manley Hopkins'
Pied Beauty can be seen to have all the hallmarks of being a sonnet, too -
but it's only got 10½ lines!)
Then there's Famous Seamus's appreciation that a sonnet must have the feel
of being a sonnet, that sonnets have muscles and sinews rather than three
easily separable but neat fitting bits. I like that, cos I often feel the
sonnets magic's made in the way the ending carries echoes and hints of
what's gone before yet, as well as alluding to the two things that've been
said (and often the first thing more than the second), it also says
something else. I guess it usually follows the way we often think: "On one
hand..." followed by "On the other hand..." and concluding "And then"/or
"So...".
It imitates how we often think things through. It's a very satisfying form.
When I was addicted to writing them, I also searched the Web and felt
disappointed by what I found. Some sites were poetry museums. Most sites
seemed to think they knew precisely what a sonnet should be - and I
suspected they were just repeating weary formulas passed on to weary
students (and ignoring too many contemporary poets).
What I also like about sonnets, particularly at readings, is recognising how
much can be put into one. They don't take long to hear but they feel
enormous!
I guess, as an analogy, I'd compare sonnets to the blues! Do blues songs all
have to have 12 bars? Do they have to keep repeating lines? Can a white man
sing a black man's blues? Or is it just that some songs and tunes feel like
they're the blues? (Sonnet, by the way, originally meant "small song" - even
though they're usually mega-big on meaning and content - so I think it's an
apt comparison).
So, is yours a sonnet? Well, whaddya think?
Bob
Oh, and I'll tell y what I think... It feels like one to me! I sense the
turn
from one aspect to another comes with the word "Instead" - and the two parts
feel balanced and the final two lines carry a clear echo of what's gone
before as well as stating something fresh. So I'm saying YEH!!!
If this were a Bob Cooper sonnet, however, (which it isn't) I'd wonder about
keeping:
"Nor do I visit age-old haunts
re- capturing the love that's lost"
because I sense I've almost already said that in what's already been said!
And I'd consider adding more lines that detail what you do Instead... But,
then again, after I've experimented a few times I might feel I like how it
feels at the moment. Cos I sense that's the other magic about sonnets: how
they balance one thing against another!
>Sally writes:
>I have revised this poem. A bit old fashioned I know. Every line except
>the
>first has eight syllables, the first has nine. There are fourteen lines.
>The last two lines nearly rhyme. Could I call this a variation of the
>sonnet form?
>From: Sally James <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: new sub In my dreams
>Date: Thu, 15 Jul 2004 03:05:41 +0100
>
>In my dreams
>
>I no longer search in faceless crowds
>and hover round the silent phone
>or pine for mailings never sent
>and stare outside through misty panes
>or listen for the footless boot
>that whispered down the grassy path
>Nor do I visit age-old haunts
>re- capturing the love that's lost
>Instead I curl up with my books
>I tend my garden, walk the dogs
>and sit on benches in the shade
>then close my eyes and think of him
>
>Who vanished like he'd never been
>for what was real is now a dream.
>
>
>
>Sally James
>
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