Hi Colin,
Don't think I've responded yet, though I've been thinking about it.
I think I have to leave the word 'Rosella' to sell itself. The key colours
of the bird are red, yellow, blue and green, but the range of colour
combinations across the sub-species is just enormous. They are all, however,
quite beautiful, and an emblem of Australia. When I tried to find a picture
online, I was very disappointed withwhat was offered, so there's little I
can do to rectify the situation.
I'll consider 'anymore' on revision.
Cheers,
frank
> Frank,
>
> Thanks for reposting. I like this poem and it's management of text and sub
> text is handsomely done for such a short poem. Now "Rosella"? To describe
it
> properly or to leave the word Rosella to speak for itself? If I saw this
> bird everyday the I would want the latter. But if I don't know the bird
then
> the task might be to summarise it - and I'm wondering if "beautiful bird
of
> colours" falls between 2 stools. It's superfluous for people who already
> know what it looks like and inadequate for people that don't. It might be
> possible to get round this problem by speaking to the metaphor e.g. by
> saying instead, "such a beautiful bird".
>
> You might also get away with deleting the word "anymore" from the poem.
>
> BW
>
> Colin
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Frank" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Thursday, July 15, 2004 3:51 AM
> Subject: sub - loss of a rosella - repost
>
>
> > Hi Colin,
> >
> > Repost, as requested.
> >
> > Cheers,
> >
> >
> > Frank
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> > loss of a rosella
> >
> > I have seen a rosella
> > beautiful bird of colours
> > standing on the roadside
> > too close
> >
> > too close
> >
> > until the end
> > seems somehow inevitable
> >
> > when its mate has gone
> > the bird doesn't know
> > how to live
> > anymore
> >
> > I feel your absence
> > like loss of the good part
> > of myself
> >
> > I don't wonder how
> > to go on
> > I wonder
> > why
> >
> > ~
>
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