James,
Thanks for your thoughtful comments. It's not a translation but is
influenced by the style of (translated) Chinese poetry that I've read.
Colin
----- Original Message -----
From: "James Bell" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Saturday, July 17, 2004 1:35 PM
Subject: Re: newsub/curtain
> Hi Colin,
>
> I like the story here but would like to see more lyricism in a poem that
is
> interesting but apparently lacking in poetic technique. I think the word
> some would say is "prosy". Is this a translation by any chance?
>
>
>
> bw
> James
>
>
>
>
>
> >From: hui dewar <[log in to unmask]>
> >Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
> >To: [log in to unmask]
> >Subject: newsub/curtain
> >Date: Thu, 15 Jul 2004 21:31:30 +0100
> >
> > I don't know if the italics will come through on this - let's try.\\
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Bamboo curtain
> >
> >
> >"You're fit at sixty", I shout
> >
> >as Uncle and Aunt
> >
> >disappear uphill
> >
> >through the bamboo forest.
> >
> >
> >
> >"That's from Xinjiang",
> >
> >Uncle laughs as I catch up.
> >
> >
> >
> >We were shepherds in the Tienshan mountains
> >
> >for thirty years - our punishment.
> >
> >I'd said what I thought at the time
> >
> >and my wife was from a rich family.
> >
> >
> >
> >All day we have no view.
> >
> >Bamboo on either side
> >
> >thins to a thicket of oak
> >
> >at altitude.
> >
> >
> >
> >On the way down
> >
> >Aunt holds my daughter's hand
> >
> >and with her stick plumbs
> >
> >the green pipes for sound.
> >
> >
> >
> >Then hazy valleys converge
> >
> >and bamboo breaks
> >
> >for tea and winter greens.
> >
> >
> >
> >At home, Uncle insists,
> >
> >
> >
> >"You should go to Xinjiang.
> >
> >You'd love it there: blue sky,
> >
> >mountains, snow for months at a stretch."
> >
> >
> >
> >"And the Uigers?" I enquire,
> >
> >but Aunt cuts in with lowered eyes,
> >
> >
> >
> >"You are a young man
> >
> >and you're very interested in politics.
> >
> >Have some more of the seven- treasure cake."
> >
> >
> >
> >__________________________________
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Colin
>
> _________________________________________________________________
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