Hi Sally,
Yeh, I'll go with James's suggestions, too.
Bob
>From: James Bell <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: New sub: Mist
>Date: Sat, 17 Jul 2004 12:31:22 +0000
>
>Hi Sally,
>
>Two suggestions here. How about starting the poem with the word "with" as
>it
>might make more sense. Also drop the comma that ends the 2nd last line for
>the same reason. Otherwise not a bad wee poem.
>
>
>
>bw
>James
>
>
>
>
>
>>From: Sally Evans <[log in to unmask]>
>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: New sub: Mist
>>Date: Fri, 16 Jul 2004 17:52:59 +0100
>>
>>Mist
>>
>>In the skirt of the highlands
>>caught in the weave of my mind
>>I pick dahlias in a field
>>hidden in outer London.
>>High, dry white stone walls
>>stalk between Yorkshire and Cumbria.
>>Northern Italy spins in, sprigged
>>with hill villages. Wine
>>flows, past and present, annually.
>>
>>Unfold the places for people!
>>Hands on a driving wheel,
>>friends who walk and talk
>>in a sleeve of time,
>>I ribbon with my mist.
>>
>>Sally Evans
>
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