Hi Sally,
Two suggestions here. How about starting the poem with the word "with" as it
might make more sense. Also drop the comma that ends the 2nd last line for
the same reason. Otherwise not a bad wee poem.
bw
James
>From: Sally Evans <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New sub: Mist
>Date: Fri, 16 Jul 2004 17:52:59 +0100
>
>Mist
>
>In the skirt of the highlands
>caught in the weave of my mind
>I pick dahlias in a field
>hidden in outer London.
>High, dry white stone walls
>stalk between Yorkshire and Cumbria.
>Northern Italy spins in, sprigged
>with hill villages. Wine
>flows, past and present, annually.
>
>Unfold the places for people!
>Hands on a driving wheel,
>friends who walk and talk
>in a sleeve of time,
>I ribbon with my mist.
>
>Sally Evans
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