Thanks for the insight,
Colin
----- Original Message -----
From: "Sally James" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, July 15, 2004 11:05 PM
Subject: Re: new sub In my dreams/Sally J
> Colin, This is weird because the words you picked "steady" and "saunter"
> fits the personality of the person who is no longer here. I picked the
word
> "footless" to give a feeling of absence and whispers because this has a
> feeling of sadness and quietness. Sally J
>
>
> >From: hui dewar <[log in to unmask]>
> >Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
> >To: [log in to unmask]
> >Subject: Re: new sub In my dreams/Sally J
> >Date: Thu, 15 Jul 2004 21:05:30 +0100
> >
> >Sally,
> >
> >It's a fine poem and there's not much I would change here. However lines
5
> >and 6 are not quite right for me. Please see text for suggs - but if not
> >those replacement words there are many others that might be better.
> >
> >BW
> >
> >Colin
> >
> >PS For such a well-worked subject you have done well to find a neglected
> >aspect, the transition between hopeless "searching" and more detached
> >reminiscence.
> >
> >
> >----- Original Message -----
> >From: "Sally James" <[log in to unmask]>
> >To: <[log in to unmask]>
> >Sent: Thursday, July 15, 2004 3:05 AM
> >Subject: new sub In my dreams
> >
> >
> >In my dreams
> >
> >I no longer search in faceless crowds
> >and hover round the silent phone
> >or pine for mailings never sent
> >and stare outside from windowpanes
> >or listen for the STEADY boot
> >that SAUNTERS down the grassy path
> >Nor do I visit age-old haunts
> >re- capturing the love that's lost
> >Instead I curl up with my books
> >I tend my garden, walk the dogs
> >and sit on benches in the shade
> >and close my eyes and think of him
> >
> >Who vanished like he'd never been
> >for what once was real is now a dream.
> >
> >
> >
> >Sally James
> >
> >
> >ORIGINAL
> >
> >
> >In my dreams
> >
> >I no longer search in faceless crowds
> >and hover round the silent phone
> >or pine for mailings never sent
> >and stare outside from windowpanes
> >or listen for the footless boot
> >that whispers down the grassy path
> >Nor do I visit age-old haunts
> >re- capturing the love that's lost
> >Instead I curl up with my books
> >I tend my garden, walk the dogs
> >and sit on benches in the shade
> >and close my eyes and think of him
> >
> >Who vanished like he'd never been
> >for what once was real is now a dream.
> >
> >
> >
> >Sally James
> >
> >_________________________________________________________________
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> _________________________________________________________________
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