Colin, This is weird because the words you picked "steady" and "saunter"
fits the personality of the person who is no longer here. I picked the word
"footless" to give a feeling of absence and whispers because this has a
feeling of sadness and quietness. Sally J
>From: hui dewar <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new sub In my dreams/Sally J
>Date: Thu, 15 Jul 2004 21:05:30 +0100
>
>Sally,
>
>It's a fine poem and there's not much I would change here. However lines 5
>and 6 are not quite right for me. Please see text for suggs - but if not
>those replacement words there are many others that might be better.
>
>BW
>
>Colin
>
>PS For such a well-worked subject you have done well to find a neglected
>aspect, the transition between hopeless "searching" and more detached
>reminiscence.
>
>
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Sally James" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Thursday, July 15, 2004 3:05 AM
>Subject: new sub In my dreams
>
>
>In my dreams
>
>I no longer search in faceless crowds
>and hover round the silent phone
>or pine for mailings never sent
>and stare outside from windowpanes
>or listen for the STEADY boot
>that SAUNTERS down the grassy path
>Nor do I visit age-old haunts
>re- capturing the love that's lost
>Instead I curl up with my books
>I tend my garden, walk the dogs
>and sit on benches in the shade
>and close my eyes and think of him
>
>Who vanished like he'd never been
>for what once was real is now a dream.
>
>
>
>Sally James
>
>
>ORIGINAL
>
>
>In my dreams
>
>I no longer search in faceless crowds
>and hover round the silent phone
>or pine for mailings never sent
>and stare outside from windowpanes
>or listen for the footless boot
>that whispers down the grassy path
>Nor do I visit age-old haunts
>re- capturing the love that's lost
>Instead I curl up with my books
>I tend my garden, walk the dogs
>and sit on benches in the shade
>and close my eyes and think of him
>
>Who vanished like he'd never been
>for what once was real is now a dream.
>
>
>
>Sally James
>
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