Sally,

It's a fine poem and there's not much I would change here. However lines 5
and 6 are not quite right for me. Please see text for suggs - but if not
those replacement words there are many others that might be better.

BW

Colin

PS  For such a well-worked subject you have done well to find a neglected
aspect, the transition between hopeless "searching" and more detached
reminiscence.


----- Original Message -----
From: "Sally James" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, July 15, 2004 3:05 AM
Subject: new sub In my dreams


In my dreams

I no longer search in faceless crowds
and hover round the silent phone
or pine for mailings never sent
and stare outside from windowpanes
or listen for the STEADY boot
that SAUNTERS down the grassy path
Nor do I visit age-old haunts
re- capturing the love that's lost
Instead I curl up with my books
I tend my garden, walk the dogs
and sit on benches in the shade
and close my eyes and think of him

Who vanished like he'd never been
for what once was real is now a dream.



Sally James


ORIGINAL


In my dreams

I no longer search in faceless crowds
and hover round the silent phone
or pine for mailings never sent
and stare outside from windowpanes
or listen for the footless boot
that whispers down the grassy path
Nor do I visit age-old haunts
re- capturing the love that's lost
Instead I curl up with my books
I tend my garden, walk the dogs
and sit on benches in the shade
and close my eyes and think of him

Who vanished like he'd never been
for what once was real is now a dream.



Sally James

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