James,
You're a wee tiger. An adventurous poem but at times I'm left wondering who
the subject of the poem is, the she or the person doing the touching or the
we or they of S2. Whose point of view is this seen from? This is not a prob
in S1 but by S2 I'm not sure who's being advised not go there.
Please see text for further comments.
BW
Colin
----- Original Message -----
From: "James Bell" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, July 15, 2004 1:19 PM
Subject: New sub:Touch Here
> Part of a series I'm working on at present. Maybe a little steamy for
some.
>
> TOUCH HERE
>
> Touch here, she said, in that soft warm voice
> while pointing at the raised nipple on her breast
> and smiled, though not to be erotogenic. Just then,
> for this world has its own sensuality, a private
> murmur RAN ALONG THE INSIDE OF HER thigh.
SUGGEST DELETION OF THE REST OF S1 AS IT STARTS TO GET TOO ANATOMICAL AT
THIS POINT IMHO.
>
> Don't go there. First we want the ritual
> of perfume to guide us to another LIE
> one kind of reality, a generic likeness in a picture
> of mass produced beauty, cloned without the aid
> of wit OR willingness TO SAY goodbye;
> for it was love when they vowed to stay together,
> parting merely a litigious SIGH.
ORIGINAL:
TOUCH HERE
>
> Touch here, she said, in that soft warm voice
> while pointing at the raised nipple on her breast
> and smiled, though not to be erotogenic just then,
> for this world has its own sensuality, a private
> murmur of pleasure on the warm inside of thighs
> close to the heat of natural lubricants
> that reside inside flesh lined with pubic hair.
>
> Don't go there. First we want the ritual
> of perfume to guide us to another lie, that is
> one kind of reality, a generic likeness in a picture
> of mass produced beauty, cloned without the aid
> of wit and the willingness of a goodbye;
> for it was love when they vowed to stay together,
> parting merely a litigious sigh in the ocean.
>
>
>
> bw
> James
>
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