Thanks for your careful reading Colin. I wasn't completly at ease with this
poem. I realised it could be confusing as it is based on very very early
memories. Also I realised I have spelled mantle wrong as this way of
spelling means a cloak. It should be mantel. Hmm.
The five lines you mention are confusing as I was trying to visualise the
shadows on the yellow distempered walls making  faces in the cracks in the
plaster.
Nanny's arms were brown on the outside where she had caught the sun but
paler on her forearm and to my child eyes she seemed to have very obvious
blue veins that seemed to throb. Always had a good imagination.
Tallor shoud read Pallor Tallor is a made up word I must have been thinking
of candles.
She did always seem to sniff a lot as if smelling gas but also  a sort of
mannerism she had.
I will revise this poem thanks for your interest as I have some more poems
about nanny brewing.
Sally J


>From: hui dewar <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: New Sub Nanny and the gas mantle/Sally J
>Date: Wed, 14 Jul 2004 16:36:20 +0100
>
>Sally J,
>
>I'll just piggyback my response here if that's okay. Don't feel the need to
>stop these poems. They are good to read.
>
>In this particular poem I like the lines from "Next night..." best. Please
>see c/c in caps in the body of the poem
>
>Colin
>
>
>
>
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "catherine JF" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Tuesday, July 13, 2004 4:34 PM
>Subject: Re: New Sub Nanny and the gas mantle
>
>
>Hi Sally - Wonderful ending.  I found the line breaks hard to follow though
>and some of the punctuation seemed a bit random.  I'm not one to criticize
>though - my punctuation is improving a bit but only because I'm teaching
>basic skills now!
>
>Definitely one worth working on.
>
>Catherine
>
>
>
>
> >From: Sally James <[log in to unmask]>
> >Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
> >To: [log in to unmask]
> >Subject: New Sub Nanny and the gas mantle
> >Date: Tue, 8 Jun 2004 17:28:05 +0100
> >
> >I don't seem to be able to stop writing at the moment so sorry to bother
> >you all but here is another
> >
> >
> >Nanny and the gas mantle
> >
> >"We're going electric" she declared
> >and pulled the mantle down to light
>FINE SO FAR
> >watched the yellow skulk
> >across the ceiling, walls
> >faces laugh in whitewashed cracks
> >heard a hiss uncurl around the room
> >the firelight flare with added glee
>THESE FIVE LINES MAKE UP TOO COMPLICATED A LSIT FOR ME AND REPRESENT THE
>WEAKEST PART OF THE POEM. I SUPPOSE THEY DON'T HELP ME TO BUILD UP A
>PICTURE
>OF WHAT'S GOING ON AND THIS IS AN EXPERIENCE THAT I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT
>(PHENOMENOLOGICALLY) SIMPLY BECAUSE I HAVEN'T LIT AND USED ENOUGH LAMPS
>LIKE
>THAT. SO I CAN'T JUST FALL BACK ON MY OWN MEMORIES.
> >Her rolled up sleeves showed thin brown arms
> >bright blue veins which throbbed
> >against her wrists
>THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME. ARE VEINS BRIGHT BLUE? ARE THEY BLUE AT ALL IN
>DARK-SKINNED PEOPLE? DO THEY THROB?
> >Her lips the tallor I DON'T KNOW THIS WORD "TALLOR" of coal tar, chirped
> >"Tomorrow I will press a switch"
> >then pushed the pipe up to the rose
> >sniffed hard, IS THE SNIFFING TO DO WITH GAS OR COINCIDENTAL? WHY WAS THE
>SNIFFING HARD?then sat me on her knee
> >Next night, another light enhanced the room
> >but the gassy smell still hung around the house
> >clung to curtains, books and chairs
> >and nanny too as she wondered
> >at the spark within the glass
> >that swayed upon a twist of flex
> >and dangled like a captured star.
> >
> >sally james
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >As if the furniture had absorbed it
> >and each swirl of the net curtains
> >sent  wafts around the room
> >even her books wouldn't let go
> >and saturated the pages.
> >
> >_________________________________________________________________
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