Thanks for your very useful comments. Yes, I think you are right about lower
case. They have been coming at me like this recently.
bw
James
>From: Ryfkah * <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: New sub: relics
>Date: Wed, 23 Jun 2004 18:52:02 EDT
>
>Shalom James,
>
>Sometimes I write in lc because the poem dictates it. See comments below
>please.
>
>kol tuv, Ryfkah
>
>
>In a message dated 06/21/2004 4:48:33 AM, [log in to unmask] writes:
>
><< relics
>
>religion likes relics [do you need the two oftens?]
>often bones
>often worn and ancient
>
>likes the relic words of the bone's owners [like this image]
>fixed in binding patterns
>preserved by writing and reciting [nice rhyme]
>
>so it is often difficult to know [this seems your weakest stanza – it
>does
>not speak as vibrantly as the others]
>if the day will be fine and new
>a time of praise and celebration
>
>in imitation of the old ways
>though without the bones
>the worn and ancient relics
>
>and not preserved by
>writing and reciting [I like the circle of words made from beginning
>stanza
>to end of poem]
>until the fineness is blunted
>
>into another dogma
>to become merely a relic
>of yesterday >> [clever ending – not quite sure of relic of yesterday]
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