Well Colin I am glad you like it. I know it has all kinds of possibilties
jumping in between humour and pathos and the overall sadness of it all. I
think there is an element of truth in the poem that may hit men more than
women. Speaking about regrets at a broken relationship form a man's
perspective rather than a womans. I am also playing about with words like we
do which I suppose could be looked on as being rather cynical from the
narrator's point of view. Punctuation is always a thing with me and I
struggle with it. I don't know what it is that troubles me. I find a
fullstop too definite like the absolute end. You are right about the
beginning of the twelth line and a capital should be there. Thanks for your
comments and close reading. Sally J


>From: Colin dewar <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new sub match made in heaven
>Date: Fri, 2 Jul 2004 00:27:51 +0100
>
>Sally,
>
>I find this amusing and the connections between the subject matter and the
>metaphor are rich and interesting. There is a sadness in it too which is
>not
>lessened by the detached tone. I did wonder if the poem has to balance
>uneasily between having staying true to the subject and having fun with all
>the possible connections. "The sole ripped out of her " leads into one of
>the punniest bits of the poem and I find myself jumping back and forth
>between the humour and the pathos of it without  sending the closeness of
>the two as much as in other parts of the poem. BTW I note that you have
>opted out of punctuation in this poem which means that I have to fall back
>on the capitals to organise it as I read (and was able to without
>difficulty). One query would be why there is not a capital for now at the
>beginning of L12. Thanks for the read.
>
>BW
>
>Colin
>
>
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Sally James" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Thursday, July 01, 2004 7:24 PM
>Subject: new sub match made in heaven
>
>
> > I found this poem today. Thought it topical
> >
> >
> > Match made in heaven?
> >
> > She was in the Premier division
> > had team spirit
> > felt alive and kicking
> > Theirs was a perfect match
> > till one of them played away
> > was game for anything
> > Now she is on the transfer list
> > the sole ripped out of her
> > dragged through the mud
> > by a  missing stud
> > He moved the goal posts too far
> > now he pays the penalty
> > Nets flutter dirty and torn
> > On the sideboard a yellow card
> > not red
> > Cobwebs drape corners
> > and the new player
> > is not a good substitute.
> >
> > Sally James
> >
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