Yes, I think you are right to defend your style, as we do need to go with
how things move us.
bw
James
>From: Sally James <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new sub Heptonstall church yard
>Date: Sat, 12 Jun 2004 12:05:39 +0100
>
>Sorry you found it a bit OTT. Maybe it is but it was just my way of seeing
>things that day I suppose but will admit "woman's weeping" is a bit much,
>But women do weep over Sylvia Plath's grave She was a depressive and went
>though a lot of emotional suffeing in her short life and her suicide was so
>untimely and what other poems would we have seen if this hadn't happened.
>There is an inscription on her grave about a flower blooming in fiercest
>flames which I thought was a very apted description of her. I was always
>told I used too many poetry words in my MA too. But we are all individuals
>I suppose and as I always write from my heart and what I am feeling at the
>time guess this will always happen with me. Sally J
>
>>From: James Bell <[log in to unmask]>
>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: Re: new sub Heptonstall church yard
>>Date: Sat, 12 Jun 2004 10:01:40 +0000
>>
>>I'm assuming this is the grave of a well known literary figure. One of the
>>Bronte's, Emily or Charlotte. I thinkmit does a lot of unnecessary scene
>>setting and the tone ends up being mannered, is the word that comes to me.
>>I think with a little more work you could dispense with some lazy stock
>>phrases from the book of poet's bad phase day compendium. Sorry this
>>sounds harsh. Phrases like "grave of woman's weeeping", "tipsy grave
>>stones", "petals bloomed in fiercest flames" "and tears erupted". These
>>are all very so so. I think the overall idea is of interest but its
>>execution needs a little refining. Hope this helps.
>>
>>
>>
>>bw
>>James
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>>From: Sally James <[log in to unmask]>
>>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>>Subject: new sub Heptonstall church yard
>>>Date: Fri, 4 Jun 2004 18:30:47 +0100
>>>
>>>Heptonstall churchyard
>>>
>>>Some bizarre twist of fate brought me here
>>>to this place, this grave of woman’s weeping
>>>The day was sunny, the blossom swayed
>>>lent its perfume to the moor land wind
>>>but by the church,
>>>great gusts carried my breath away
>>>tangled my hair, blew my skirt above my knees
>>>I don’t know why I came at all
>>>I was out for pleasure, to see the countryside
>>>look for somewhere new to hang my hat
>>>The church tower looked fierce
>>>frowned, as I trod the cobbles
>>>the narrow streets
>>>searched the tipsy grave stones
>>>that leaned port side in the
>>>early summer’s howl
>>>I had to ask of course
>>>“Many visitors come,” he said
>>>then pointed, told me
>>>where the woman lay
>>>But today, there was only me
>>>pacing up and down the ranks
>>>inspecting, looking for the poet
>>>whose petals bloomed in fiercest flames
>>>I found the plot at last
>>>and tears erupted, spilled
>>>upon her flowered bed
>>>and as I cried, the church bell tolled
>>>Three times.
>>>
>>>sally james
>>>
>>>_________________________________________________________________
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>>
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